With barely twenty days left till my twenty first, till I’m completely legal and have no cause to hide, I feel this awful nostalgic atmosphere around me. Twenty years of neither chasing dreams nor out doing and challenging myself. Twenty years of which I’ve dealt with an inferiority complex that’s firmly rooted in its foundation by my God complex (messed up mind). In twenty days I’ll be twenty one and I’ve got this sudden urge to fill in the gaps that my philistine nature has left for me. The cultures, the knowledge, the things I’d put on my imaginary list of things to do, I feel a twinge of annoyance and regret for not diving into all these things earlier in my life. It’s disgraceful how I’ve allowed Math to show me the stars in a not so adventurous way. I’m disappointed that I never packed a backpack to wing it like Bear Grylls ( I don’t even know the shortcuts in my own hood). Heck I’m even more pissed that I let myself be average because I assumed I was smarter than the average person (the average Ghanaian person) and that it somehow sufficed. Now I have this forceful urge to enlighten my mind and to say
fuck it to that old meaningless desire I had to find my rock (not God, just a human who would agree with my self wallowing musings) I have this urge to understand myself, to punish and correct myself, to take the reigns and lead my loaded carriage from the shitstorm that auto pilot led me to. I have this urge to take this blog seriously, and to stop stuffing my life’s to do list then ignoring them of my own volition. I started 2016 a tad more self aware than usual and almost halfway through, after intensely critiquing my importance and self worth like never before I’ve decided 21 is not a bad year to actually start living my life. A bit late but at least it will do.
I’ll let my envy and hate for those who Lord themselves over me for being better be the Will of D in my struggle for My Piece (Peace wouldn’t be in the spirit of One Piece on paper) .