About

The Curse of Life

When it comes, we can’t still it,

Slow thriving black spot of life,

It creeps in while we expect it,

Slow ending back drop of life.

Go away! Go away !! Leave us.

To be still, to live in peace,

To enjoy what’s left of living.

We have toiled. Lord, we are toiling,

Since We have time; to brave the

Tempests, thrive knowing What is

against us. But you, You are all around

us, Sending servants to prepare us.

To confuse and destroy us:

For when you saunter in and take Us.

Oh we are NoT blind yeT!

wE wiLl seE You,

wE Will KNOW iT’s you.

But ouR Hands will be too tired to Box WITH You.

Our feet will be Numb, we won’t flee from you.

We will know you, but..

We KNOW you…

But….

We see your face but we forget.

We forget. We. Forget.

You will come.

I forget that you will come.

To take our bodies, to toy with us,

And we will watch it sag and refuse us.

You will take our minds, break our will.

Till we are hunched and at your mercy,

Our fists conjoined and at your mercy.

You will come and give us no time.

You will lead and leave us no time.

We will weep and wait for salvation.

Old age, lead us toward our salvation.

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Confession

My tears barely start before a chill settles.

My heart turns stony,

And my thoughts whine of folly,

While my eyes set their melancholic glare.

“No, there is no god here.”

“There is no hope for me.” I say and stare

” I pray yet spy the “Charyoutree.”

I grumble and whimper,

I brood and shiver,

In fear I call forth anxiety.

When it comes I stumble, I let it lead

And live as I hate; as a mess in place,

Waiting for mistakes i left to be corrected,

Waiting for old lovers to see the light.

Waiting for my path to light flames of glory

Leading the way to victory.

But no child,

They won’t change their minds.

No son,

You can’t change the past.

There is no hope here.

No, there is no hope for me.

My angst is leading,

It’s come forth as a gent,

As me, akin to roses; A good fella of love.

A reflex that is necessary,

Like a prostate, he’s letting piss pass.

But the tears; they halt as they come,

Barely threading ground.

I have forgotten the taste of my tears.

Solitary

It always starts off this way;
Locked away in my space I listen,
And I feel. I let the silence I hear
Rape me, coax my soul to her altar,
And leave me with aches and in pain.
I feel dirty afterwards, like it’s my fault
I am all alone, easy pickings for the
Succubus laying in wait for me, every time.
And I am to Blame; I make my anxiety
Intoxicating. I hold that always busy
Neon sign that says; “Come get me, sweety!” Over my head.
I ask for it. If only I would join the busy bees,
And live my life by clicks, I’d be happy.
If only I’d sweep my feelings under my rug,
If I just act tough, I would be smug;
I would feign some aggression and become a man.
And I wouldn’t be in my space, waiting for her to come again.
I would not be confined to my limited devices,
Making my empty space welcome the cold, black hole that is me…
No essence, nor backbone to hold me steady,
But four walls, transparent like nothing, and just a bed I lay on
For our regular sessions, while I watch the world in my confinement.
With my wise words written in ink to my side
My comfort and my reprimand…;

“You live in a cage;
That’s what your world feels like.
When they meet a sage,
Who’s numb to the world’s hike.
They don’t see the bars
Blocking escape; the breeze,
She blows heat from mars
For their blind minds to freeze.”

Need

I

Our words are always fickle,

Our feelings never settle.

Aiming to please our sickle

Hearts that have no mettle.

II

Give me wisdom so I will not meddle,

To know my place among the those who fondle

Love as a bundle 

Of wishes that forever, never dwindle.

III

Give me patience so I will not tussle

With roaming hearts that love to stumble.

My numbness will make me grumble,

But the firmness will leave me humble.

IV

I know now why I am no hurdle.

The loose ones do need a handle,

To hold onto, they are more fragile,

I let them know that they are agile.

V

But I too have ways to settle.

To move east when refused as a handle.

VI

One learns words hold no valour

And ignores those who speak of honour

 

     LEBRECHT-HITLEBB

Need

I

Our words are always fickle,

Our feelings never settle.

Aiming to please our sickle

Hearts that have no mettle.

II

Give me wisdom so I will not meddle,

To know my place among the those who fondle

Love as a bundle 

Of wishes that forever, never dwindle.

III

Give me patience so I will not tussle

With roaming hearts that love to stumble.

My numbness will make me grumble,

But the firmness will leave me humble.

IV

I know now why I am no hurdle.

The loose ones do need a handle,

To hold onto, they are more fragile,

I let them know that they are agile.

V

But I too have ways to settle.

To move east when refused as a handle.

VI

One learns words hold no valour

And ignores those who speak of honour

 

     LEBRECHT-HITLEBB

Sestina: Hue and Conflict

I

For as long as the heart is soft, it turns blue.

Time will tell! Will it ever be red?

When the world conspires and connives in grey,

And calls forth devils to paint it black,

To make it wrinkle and never turn violet;

Into a pansy dreading the hue indigo.


II

That was the spice that made me indigo.

The gift life gave me. A version of hues that always turn blue,

I fear it so much my cheeks turn  violet!

But my beating heart has never been red,

It has lived in darkness and I know its black.

I brighten that hue to make it grey.


III

And so I saw the world in grey,

And lived life as I was indigo.

Wrinkling with time and fading to black,

Soiling my mind until it turned blue.

My eyes would never see the hue red,

For as long as I never spotted violet.


IV

One day I made my heart turn violet.

The world was changed, it stopped being grey.

And I thought my shade would switch to red.

It would be lovely to leave the indigo,

And my heart would never beat to blue.

And my heart would never fade to black.


V

But still my heart is all black.

Day by day, moods switch from violet,

Till years pass and the hues turn blue,

And my hope fades and I move back to grey.

The life I lead will always be indigo,

I will never stay forever red.


VI

I lived so long chasing hues, a red 

Heart was my only aim, but that lump stays black,

My lips sing blues, and spice up my  life with Indigo.

I once thought I could brighten and bloom, violet

And gay, and stop seeing grey.

That was the lie that left me Blue.


VII

And I never had it, that lack made me blue.

Now I live to embrace my heart as grey.

Never again will I chase a hue, never again will I turn Violet.