My mind was blurred
My heart felt cold.
A ghastly feeling, being held at bay.
I saw myself
Saw all the blood.
I felt a chill, was just more blood.
I stood to see
this was not home.
I made my mind, then I saw her.
Her eyes were dull
Her breathe was still
Her clothes undone, yet her smile still.
I stood and stared
Awe mixed with nerves.
Was this all me, or someone else?
I heard him then
His sigh was loud.
I looked at him, I saw my end.
It all came back
the scenes were clear.
I came here, came to take his place.
I knew her not
Only knew her look.
I saw my friend, her eyes called me
His hand was large
My throat was full.
I saw his rage but felt no shame.
He was no good
He sowed more oats.
Yet here he is, jealous with malice.
I faded then
It all turned black.
When I saw light, she stood there too.
We watched him cry
We heard with him.
We watched him leave, as sirens came
We went our ways
Hand in hand now.
I felt no hate, hell was waiting.
I took heart in momma’s glow
while daddy made me my own bow.
For the day I bow out of my own home
and creep into this soul hunter’s globe
He wants to,
wants to whisper them away.
All those problems of would be play,
nauseating but worth their red and decay.
On his tongue they taste like hay,
a fungus that will never grey or hear his say,
because he holds back,
he holds back the rhymes and welcomes those condescending lines,
they dictate his time with what should be fine for the most high and them.
For a child like him the line was pain and strife,
but he touched that line and came back looking fine.
those who glorified the most high and the star as true convinced him.
Convinced him to leave the line of the lyre to lounge in the ways of their wine.
And in that moment,
his less than weary journey
with aide but no merry
that left no scars as memory
lost purpose as he missed his line of fire because he leaves.
He leaves behind the arsonist that should be craving a fire that will never be.
Thus I become big brother, the version born of the flux ignorable while he turned Winston.
Hiding in dark corners to shield himself from masters who will slay him.
After I leave for my bright new sky,
it pours and pours to kill his fire.
It puts out his fire,
which is my fire.
IT’S OUR FIRE!
I left the man who was the fire.
I left the sky in all it’s splendor,
and died because we are that fire.
They killed the man who could have been fire.
They killed us,
we could have been fire.
As my gloom toward darkness looms
his hearty boom echoing fiery doom
I place my feet to face this fool,
and cast my mind on my still beating tool.
I shirk the the lighted path,
and avoid its blinding lie.
Sheathing my cross beneath darkened robes
while I descend into the dark.
You asked why.
Why I don’t have a smile on my face.
I had to turn from heel to face,
TO FACE YOU,
just to ask YOU why.
Why SO serious, love?
after judging MY grace on the field,
during my graceful caress on your skin and
those tender kisses I laid on your navel leading down to your nether naval,
you said “Do Not Judge” with a straight face at the pearly gates of no sin and lust I flee I flee I FLEE from.
Its is my price to pay,
I had forked over bills of bitter sweet double standards just to avoid that never sweet fire of your damnation.
But I sinned
What was that?
Well I lust
and I lust
and I lust
And I lust more than I sin.
That’s if sin is lust or lust is sin,
but in your case lusting for you was my only sin.
That’s my insanity speaking.
You asked why?
Why so serious?
Why don’t I have a smile on my face?
Because you my fair friend,
and I answer in the insanest part of my less than satisfied mind just to keep from hurting her fading fragile ego,
You my fair one,
I pace myself because these sweet words will never leave my own lips,
you my muse,
you who repel my true lustful bliss
I want to see you gain true bliss.
are a grade lower than any known average.
I lie before I leave her with a memory of what a poetic fake climax
should look like.
After I free my soul of its binding
and watch the slab rise in my honour,
I take to the mile beyond knowledge
toward the juncture of my self doubt.